Category Archives: Failure

3 Things I Learned From Being Laid Off

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When the call came 5 months ago, I was actually expecting a conversation about a promotion.  The company had just merged and everyone in sales (without regard for skill, geography, or performance) that had been with the company for less than a year was canned.  Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? (said in Wayne Campbell voice).  We were in the middle of closing on a house and basically living on my paycheck alone.  Rarely is there a “good” time for a layoff, but this hurt.

I’ve never felt so numb.  In an instant, I went to the worst-case scenario.  I was certain that we would be homeless in a few days, cars repossessed, and my kids would be holding up signs at the intersection.  My family had their own issues and wouldn’t be able to help, and I would be too proud to ask or accept anyway.  My friends wouldn’t want to associate with such a loser.  And, my wife would probably leave me to find someone that could provide.  The fact is layoffs are common and rarely have anything to do with performance, or at least in medical sales, but still I felt embarrassment, shame, rejection, guilt, confusion, and anger.

I had a pity-party for about 4 hours, then I made the decision that being upset and worried would not get me another job or pay the bills.  So I reported immediately to my new “job” of getting a new job.

I was able to get a better paying job in 3 weeks, but during this “short” time, which seemed like years, I learned a few things:

  • My job is NOT my identity
    • Men are especially guilty of this.  When we meet another guy, one of the first questions we ask is “So, what do you do?” When you lose a job, you answer this question about yourself…”I am nothing.”  Ugh.  We are so much more than a job title.  I thought I knew this, but it took a layoff to help me really understand this.
  • My life is determined by ME
    • I never again want to let a  group of executives in a different state determine my future or happiness.  Starting to blog stemmed from this.
  • I was NOT prepared
    • I didn’t have a plan because these things only happen to “other people”.  Financial security and planning have come back to the front of my mind.

“Life rewards your action, not your desire.”

If your life is fully at the mercy of your company, do yourself a huge favor and start to think about how you can become financially independent.  It doesn’t happen overnight and I’m certainly not there yet either, but I am using this experience as a way to change my situation and my future.  Your next steps in life are determined by the decisions you make now.  Decide that you are not your job title, that you are in control of your life, and decide to make a plan to move you closer to financial independence.

If you’ve been laid off in the past, what would you tell someone going through it right now?  Join the discussion!

Quit for Success

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Success“Quitters never win; winners never quit.”

What if this were NOT the golden rule of success? What if to see success, you had to quit?

 

The measure of a person is seen in the price they will pay for the ideals they hold.

My wife and I met while volunteering with a non-profit organization. At that time I had been involved with this organization for almost 17 years and been a member of its Board of Directors for 10 years. The organization and its work held very deep meaning for me; and still does.

Shortly after marrying, the Board became divided over an issue that began to consume important time at meetings. I was on one side, seeing very clearly the route ahead through this issue. “Bob” (not his real name), was entrenched on the other side, seeing equally clearly an opposing route through the issue. It seemed that the more meetings we had on the issue, the more entrenched the two sides became in our opposition.

It was a difficult time because I knew that the route I was proposing was the right thing; if the organization chose Bob’s route, it would encounter more difficulty which would impact its daily operations. I knew that Bob cared more than I did for the organization and its work, yet he was clearly wrong in his vision for the way through this issue. I knew I was right, and for the sake of the organization, I had to persevere in advocating for the best vision. It was then that I made the hardest decision: I quit the Board!

Quitting

I didn’t quit in a huff; there were no demands of reform or I’ll leave; all I gave was a simple resignation without condition. And while I have never since served on its board, my wife and I have continued to support it financially and on many occasions we’ve rolled up our sleeves, giving up our vacations, to serve in its programs.

Success

Within 3 months of my resigning, Bob changed his position entirely and was advocating for the same route that I had been. The organization made the decision to follow the route that I – and now Bob – advocated. And in the 15 years since, it has continued to function and flourish.

Internal Conflict Corrodes

Many organizations have collapsed due to internal conflicts over vision. Their collapse is not due to choosing one vision over another, rather it’s caused by the corrosive effect internal conflict has; eating away at the very foundation of the organization: it’s people. When internal conflict – whether as benign as volunteers asking for why things are done a certain way, or as malignant as an outright power struggle – is not addressed in a healthy and positive way, the foundation is weakened. If nothing is done to answer questions or resolve the power struggle, the weakened foundation begins to crumble; support (or clients) begins to dry up; volunteers become harder to find; staff tensions become more prominent; productivity wanes; morale evaporates and eventually the organization collapses or experiences a seismic, almost cataclysmic shift in direction.

You are only accountable for yourself!

It was not an easy decision to quit. I had a number of people question my commitment. Yet I subconsciously knew the price the organization would pay if I (or Bob) didn’t quit. It was obvious that Bob and I were deeply entrenched – neither was going to yield – so the organization was going to suffer. In fact it was already beginning to show signs of foundational crumble. It was Bob or I that had to go, and since I’m only accountable for myself, I knew the price I had to pay for the success of the organization that I was so deeply committed to: that price was my resignation.

What price are you willing to pay for the success of your organization?

What organization are you deeply committed to? How do you handle the internal conflicts that arise? What’s the price you’re willing to pay for its success? Are you willing to quit?

Share your comments below…

The Success of Failure: How NOT to climb a mountain

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Crowsnest Mountain PeakAt 9100 feet, Crowsnest Mountain dominates the valley which bears it’s name. Three times I’ve proudly stood on it’s summit; the last being 30 years ago. August 22, 2014 was to be the fourth, but I failed!

It is a deceptive mountain: it’s imposing 3000 foot cliffs give it an almost impenetrable appearance, but with the correct route it is just a strenuous hike, with only two 100 foot sections that require any basic climbing skills. Six months before the climb I had taking up running to build cardio-vascular endurance, plus embarking on a summer of weekend hikes to re-build some of the stamina of my youth. Mentally I knew it would be harder and longer than it was 30 years ago. I was prepared physically and mentally for the climb, but not the failure!

At the beginning think what may be the end.

The day was perfect for a climb: neither too hot nor too cold, just the right mix of sun, cloud & wind. I was joined by my wife, sister-in-law, niece and her partner. We made good time, yet within 300 feet of the summit, completely spent and holding up the rest of the group, it was painfully obvious that I was not going to make the summit, at least not without jeopardizing the safety of the descent. Therefore, while the others proceeded to the summit, my sister-in-law chose to stay with me, sacrificially giving up her opportunity to summit, because on a mountain you don’t leave anyone alone. While we sat and rested, I felt fatigue, embarrassed and angry at myself, at my failure.

On the descent, I kept wondering why? Why could I not finish the climb? Why had my energy complete drained? I KNEW I was strong enough to make the climb. I knew I had the skill and energy…yet I didn’t!

The others all tried to reassure me: to point out that at 52 years of age, I shouldn’t expect to do what I did at 20, although they chose not to remind me that 2 years earlier my 80 year old father-in-law had made summit. It was nice thought, but they were beguiling: I KNEW I failed, I just couldn’t understand why!

DSCN2523A couple of weeks later when I was putting my pack away for the season, I found the answer. Two weeks before the climb I had taken a couple of friends up to Stanley Glacier: a beautiful, but modest, hike about 1/4 the climb of Crowsnest. On the way down, I had packed out 3 “souvenir” rocks, (together weighing about 30 pounds) for our water pond at home. I found those rocks still in the bottom of my pack after the Crowsnest climb.

I was prepared for the climb…just not the added 30 pound burden. It was that unseen burden that stole my plans, vanquished my strength and defeated me. And worse, robbed another of the opportunity to fulfill their dream.

Failure is never planned for; it hides deep in our hopes and dreams, coiled like a cobra waiting for the right moment to spring forth and strike down our plans.

Success on my climb would have been assured had I not been carrying that burden. Failure is most often the result of some burden we’re carrying. We start out pursuing our dream with vigour and confidence and all that we need to succeed. Yet deep in our lives is an unseen burden, something from our past, that weighs us down; that we won’t let go. It can even be something good some past success, that we hold onto and measure ourselves against. This burden is almost imperceivable at first, but over time its weight drains our energy, our enthusiasm or confidence. And even though we push on, we determine not to give into the fatigue we fight failure with all we got, sooner or later we realize we have nothing left. We’re spent and failure won the day…all because of the burden we carry.

So how DO we climb mountains? How DO we fulfil our plans and dreams?

The unknown writer of an ancient book gave us the key when they wrote: “...throw off everything that hinders and so easily entangles…and run with perseverance the race marked out for [you]…”

We need plans, preparation and perseverance to fulfil our dreams, but all of that is for naught, if we don’t also purge ourselves of that which can bring defeat: Fear of past failures, Over-confidence fuelled by past successes, etc.

To be successful, plan for failure!

For success to happen we need to plan for failure.

By this I mean, before setting out on your dream, give honest consideration to those burdens you have that can trip you up or rob your strength.

Planning includes self-assessment and dealing with those burdens. It may be as simple as identifying a burden that can’t be dealt with right now. But by identifying it ahead of time, you adjust your preparations to include it. Had I known that I was carrying an extra 30 pounds I would have packed more food for energy; I would have prepared for the extra weight. It’s the unseen burden that kills. Self-assessment is a healthy practice that frees us to move forward.

Purge these burdens; Lay aside that which can hinder, distract or entangle you and then step out with perseverance toward your dream.

What holds you back from your dreams? What are you carrying that will drain your energy and focus? What dreams or plans do you want to pursue?