Author Archives: Dan

I’m Dying.

The news was not good. It was neither what we expected, nor wanted to hear.

Terminal

My condition is terminal; there is no known cure. And what treatments there are will cost, in both personal lifestyle, comfort and funds. And even then they will, at best, only extend my life for a relatively short time.

It’s the kind of news that causes you to rethink your life, to refocus, to make amends, even to make drastic changes in behaviour, all in the hope of extending, or making the best of, what time you’ve got left.

Death has a way of making us alive.

I’ve never heard of a dying person saying: “Oh I wish I’d worked longer hours”, or “I’ll never forgive so and so.” or “I just want to be alone.” Death has a way of giving us life;, of clarifying what’s important.

So why do we put in more time and effort into our work than we do with our families?

Why do we hold on so tight to that incident back then that fractured that relationship?

Why do we wait until we’re dying to live for what’s of lasting value?

Why do we wait until a loved one dies before we tell them what we loved and valued about them?

Death Sentence

This news of my “death sentence” is causing me to take serious stock of my life, to evaluate, to make changes. And in so doing, I hope, with what little time I have left, to make a positive impact on my world: to change my world by changing myself.

life01 I hope to leave my family and friends with a legacy of life that will carry them through their grief and into a new world without me. To guide them through the valley of the shadow of death and into a new and open vista of all they can be. To inspire them to live their life with passion and courage.

Now here’s the shocker: that condition I was diagnosed with? LIFE!

I have the terminal condition of life.

Every day we live is one day closer to death.

We all die! We just don’t like to admit it. We hope and plan to live for 20 or 30 years, but the truth is each of us could die tonight. Death is the harsh reality of life.

Every day we live is one day closer to our death. Not all of us get the kind of news that they’re dying? But the truth is WE’RE ALL DYING! We’re all under a death sentence.

The question is: “What will you do with the life you have left?”

Share your comments below. Inspire me and others with how you’re preparing for your death with living today.

Quit for Success

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“Quitters never win; winners never quit.”

What if this were NOT the golden rule of success? What if to see success, you had to quit?

The measure of a person is seen in the price they will pay for the ideals they hold.

My wife and I met while volunteering with a non-profit organization. At that time I had been involved with this organization for almost 17 years and been a member of its Board of Directors for 10 years. The organization and its work held very deep meaning for me; and still does.

Shortly after marrying, the Board became divided over an issue that began to consume important time at meetings. I was on one side, seeing very clearly the route ahead through this issue. “Bob” (not his real name), was entrenched on the other side, seeing equally clearly an opposing route through the issue. It seemed that the more meetings we had on the issue, the more entrenched the two sides became in our opposition.

It was a difficult time because I knew that the route I was proposing was the right thing; if the organization chose Bob’s route, it would encounter more difficulty which would impact its daily operations. I knew that Bob cared more than I did for the organization and its work, yet he was clearly wrong in his vision for the way through this issue. I knew I was right, and for the sake of the organization, I had to persevere in advocating for the best vision. It was then that I made the hardest decision: I quit the Board!

Quitting

I didn’t quit in a huff; there were no demands of reform or I’ll leave; all I gave was a simple resignation without condition. And while I have never since served on its board, my wife and I have continued to support it financially and on many occasions we’ve rolled up our sleeves, giving up our vacations, to serve in its programs.

Success

Within 3 months of my resigning, Bob changed his position entirely and was advocating for the same route that I had been. The organization made the decision to follow the route that I – and now Bob – advocated. And in the 15 years since, it has continued to function and flourish.

Internal Conflict Corrodes

Many organizations have collapsed due to internal conflicts over vision. Their collapse is not due to choosing one vision over another, rather it’s caused by the corrosive effect internal conflict has; eating away at the very foundation of the organization: it’s people. When internal conflict – whether as benign as volunteers asking for why things are done a certain way, or as malignant as an outright power struggle – is not addressed in a healthy and positive way, the foundation is weakened. If nothing is done to answer questions or resolve the power struggle, the weakened foundation begins to crumble; support (or clients) begins to dry up; volunteers become harder to find; staff tensions become more prominent; productivity wanes; morale evaporates and eventually the organization collapses or experiences a seismic, almost cataclysmic shift in direction.

You are only accountable for yourself!

It was not an easy decision to quit. I had a number of people question my commitment. Yet I subconsciously knew the price the organization would pay if I (or Bob) didn’t quit. It was obvious that Bob and I were deeply entrenched – neither was going to yield – so the organization was going to suffer. In fact it was already beginning to show signs of foundational crumble. It was Bob or I that had to go, and since I’m only accountable for myself, I knew the price I had to pay for the success of the organization that I was so deeply committed to: that price was my resignation.

What price are you willing to pay for the success of your organization?

What organization are you deeply committed to? How do you handle the internal conflicts that arise? What’s the price you’re willing to pay for its success? Are you willing to quit?

Share your comments below…

3 Ways the Trinity Exists in Nature

A triune existence

Everything that exists is comprised of Time, Space and Matter: a trinity of existence.

1) Time exists as Past, Present and Future. The Past is not the Present nor the Future. Likewise the Present is neither Past nor Future and Future is neither Past nor Present.

2) Space exists as Height, Depth and Width. With each not being the other two, yet all being Space.

3) Matter exists as Solid, Liquid and Gas, again with each being matter but not either of the other two.

Experience does not define us

The existence of these natural trinities is not proof of the spiritual Trinity. It is not proof of the doctrine nor the faith built upon it. Rather they are simply a means of describing what we experience in the physical realm. “The physical universe does not lie”. Trinity exists in the physical universe. Therefore it is not surprising that it is also used as an expression for how we experience the divine. Yet it is impossible to describe what you’ve not experienced. For those who do not believe in God, no amount of logic or “proof” will convince them; They have to experience God. Our experiences do not define us, but they shape and transform us.

Photo by Phil Knight http://autofocusright.com/

I remember the first time I experienced the mountains of the Canadian Rockies – sitting in the back seat with the convertible’s roof down, basking in the sunlight, wind driven hair and surrounded by rock walls. Their jagged tops scarring the sky with clouds. The ancients believed if they could build a tower to the sky they would find eternity and immortality. These mountains, ancient sea beds now thrusting to the heavens, spoke of the transforming permanence of eternity. They were the past thrust upward to my present and reaching further up to the future. It was as if I had arrived home.

A few years later I attended school on a small island on the west coast of Canada. In that year, on clear days I could see the ragged tops of the Coastal range. Yet imperceptibly I was being transformed, as the salt air and ocean wind filled my lungs, invigorated my mind and permeated my soul. I became intoxicated; addicted to the oceans call. Its vast breadth and length stretching beyond the horizon; its unfathomed depth calling to the deep of my soul. It is more ancient than the mountains, for it was out of the depths the earth was formed. The solid ground called forth to separate liquid source and gaseous sky.

Home where I belong

It is here, in nature, I find trinity, where sky meets mountains and mountains meet ocean and ocean stretches to the sky. It calls my body to hike its trails and climb its peaks. It recharges my soul as the pungent ocean air once filled my lungs. It challenges my mind as I ponder the vast expanse of space and sky. The psalmist once wrote: “The heavens declare the glory of God.” To which I add: “and nature sings it’s heavenly songs, and I am home where I belong.”

Giving away FREE Money today.

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What would you do with $100 FREE money?

Today I’m speaking to a group on a subject that strikes fear into the hearts and ears of many: Giving.

Should we give? Why? How much?

Giving is perhaps one of the most reviled topics for conversation. Second only perhaps to taxes, which is a form of giving.

What would you do with $100 FREE money?

Jessica Jackley gave a wonderful talk at the TED Global Conference in 2010, entitled; “Poverty, Money and Love”

Jessica highlights what I think is the essential foundation to Giving: Relationship

Or as she puts it: Love.

The need to view Giving as personal engagement, not a commodity; as an embodiment of community and not “disembody those in need”.

Giving changes us. It forces us to take stock of our lot in life. What have we achieved and acquired by that achievement? What blessings do we have?

Then giving takes us outside of our immediate private world into the world of others: their needs, their situation. It changes us and opens opportunity for us to change the world of others

Along this journey of inner reflection and outer observation, Giving asks us this simple question:

What will you do to Change the World of those in need?

I highlighted three key components to Giving:

Relationship over Regulation:

Giving needs to be personal, both in its distribution of resources and in its decision to distribute. It’s an individual’s choice what they do with their resources.

Giving that is regulated or coerced is simply a form of taxation; it robs both the giver and receiver of their humanity and community.

Motive over Money:

When we give to get, we turn the process into a transaction, turning caring into a commodity to be bought and sold. It matters more WHY you give than WHAT you give.

The Billionaire who gives $100 million so he can get his name on a building, along with the perceived “respect” of his community, and most important, a tax receipt for prudent tax planning, does so out of selfish reasons. As Jessica put it: “buys the right to get on with his day.” The true worth of his funds pales compared to the student who shares his last $10 taking a street person for coffee so they can warm up inside away from the elements.

Why we give – whether to alleviate another’s need or to satisfy our own need – should be more a concern for us than what we give.

Percentage over Price:

In 2011, charitable giving by Canadians declined by 20% from 10.6 Billion in 2010 to 8.7 Billion in 2011, which was donated by only 22% of the population who gave an average of 1/2 of 1% of their income. Religious donors – those donating to religious charities – are 4 times as generous as non-religious, donating an average of 2% of their income.

Americans, as a whole aren’t much better, only 26% are donors. But those donors gave 3 times as much on average.

Billionaire philanthropists provide vast help with their vast sums; there’s a need and place for these high-end givers. But as President Obama’s election campaign illustrated there is more power in many small dollar donors than in few high-end givers.

The true measure of giving is seen in the percentage over the price. The student who gives 10% of his meagre income has given more than the billionaire giving only 1%.

It’s not how much ($) you give, it’s how much (%) it costs you.

The true measure of giving is seen in the percentage over the price.

I also gave out a homework assignment: I took $100, $50 & $20 bills and wrapped each in a piece of paper with the assignment.

1) Receive the gift (we cannot give what we’ve not first received).

2) Decide what to do with the gift (keep it, share some of it, give it all away). Giving needs to be personal.

3) Rejoice both in the gift and what you choose to do with it. Enjoy!

4) Share your story.

Write a comment below. What would you do with FREE money?

What will you do to Change the World of those in need?

I Lost My Best Friend Today

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Over three hundred people came to say good-bye to my son….

Justin was six months away from his 18th birthday and his graduation. Yet he was embarking on a journey that we all must take, a journey from this life, through the veil of death, into the next — a graduation of sorts.

Justin was a special needs child. Yet his “disability” gave him a special ability to live life beyond the way most of us live — with joy and love. He often reached out to gently touch those who sat next to him — to communicate connection with another soul in a way he couldn’t verbally.

His severe developmental delay meant he had to wear diapers throughout his life, which was an added burden on us, his teachers and caregivers.

Justin had acute hypotonia which meant, that while he had control of his muscles, his muscular strength was very weak. Thus he required a wheelchair or a stroller all his life.

photo - Version 2 He was also severely verbally challenged; while he could “speak”, his speech was incomprehensible, except for a few “words” that we who cared for him could understand. A Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) was developed to aid us in communicating with him. PECS enabled Justin to tell us when he was hungry, what music he wanted to listen to, and what activity he wanted to engage in.

Yet to really “hear” his voice required spending time with him, simply sitting with him, allowing him to connect with you and you with him. Through those times of closeness, my wife, Diane, began to learn more about not just hearing Justin’s voice, but also sensing and hearing the voice of God.

Justin also wasn’t my biological son; as a father I didn’t go through the turmoil and grief of learning that my hopes and aspirations for my son would be muted by disability. On the contrary, Justin’s special needs were already evident when I chose to marry his mother. In choosing Diane, I was also choosing Justin with all his “disabilities”. And like Robert Frost’s traveller: “that has made all the difference”. When we choose to love, especially in the face of its burden, we are rewarded with love.

The title of this post was a newspaper headline that caught my eye as I walked to my car. I didn’t have time to read the article, but it speaks of grief: whether a loss of friendship through death or conflict. For us, Justin’s “graduation” as I like to call it, came after a ten day battle with sinusitis and pneumonia that quickly turned into acute lung failure when his infection entered his blood system. It was a heart-wrenching time as we watched our son lying comatose in a hospital bed, kept alive by a battery of machines and a recipe of drugs. Throughout those days, as we visited Justin, we relied heavily upon God to uphold and carry us, and gently prepare us for his death.

In the two years following his death, my wife wrote her first book: ALIVE and WELL. It is the story of a mother of a special needs child — her journey through life and death, rejection and restoration, joy and sorrow. Her website is www.dianeknight.com. She is currently working on her second book about learning to hear the “voice” of God.

Over 300 people came to say good-bye to my son who in the criteria of our culture never accomplished anything, nor was productive; in fact he was a burden. Yet, his “burdensome, unproductive” short life changed the world of over 300 people so much that they gave up work, school and other pressing things in their lives so they could say good-bye.

Today, six years after his death, we still miss Justin; waves of grief still come and go when they please, and often when we least expect them. Seeing the newspaper headline brought a vision of Justin’s hospital bed, then his casket, then his grave — all in the five seconds it took to walk past the newspaper. Death stays with us, even when life moves on — like a shadow we can’t escape.

We have all lost our “best friend” today — something or someone who has impacted our lives in such a way that they changed our world. It may be a friend from school who we’ve “lost” over time. Perhaps it’s a child lost through miscarriage; or a longed-for-child never conceived due to infertility. Maybe it is a spouse, gone either through death or divorce. Perhaps it is a dream we’ve pursued with vigour, yet never saw fulfilled.

All of us have experienced loss. All of us grieve.

No one finds enjoyment in grief. But to shun it with a tough facade, to bury it with denial, or be ashamed of it, is unhealthy. Just as scars are a sign of healing, grief is a sign of love. We’ve lost someone we cared deeply for. We allowed our world to be changed by that person and we feel the impact of their loss.

The alternative to grief is far worse. It is never giving ourselves to anyone. While this appears to protect ourselves from grief, it is really robbing ourselves of life, of love, of hope. It robs our world of the changes that another can bring. By choosing to love, to engage in another’s life, we open ourselves up to the riches of their love, but we also expose ourselves to the risk of grief. This is real life!

What “best friend” have you lost? What grief are you experiencing? Instead of reflecting on the loss, share with us the joys, rewards and memories you received by leaving a comment so we can enjoy your “best friend” too.

The Success of Failure: How NOT to climb a mountain

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Crowsnest Mountain Peak At 9100 feet, Crowsnest Mountain dominates the valley which bears it’s name. Three times I’ve proudly stood on it’s summit; the last being 30 years ago. August 22, 2014 was to be the fourth, but I failed!

It is a deceptive mountain: it’s imposing 3000 foot cliffs give it an almost impenetrable appearance, but with the correct route it is just a strenuous hike, with only two 100 foot sections that require any basic climbing skills. Six months before the climb I had taking up running to build cardio-vascular endurance, plus embarking on a summer of weekend hikes to re-build some of the stamina of my youth. Mentally I knew it would be harder and longer than it was 30 years ago. I was prepared physically and mentally for the climb, but not the failure!

At the beginning think what may be the end.

The day was perfect for a climb: neither too hot nor too cold, just the right mix of sun, cloud & wind. I was joined by my wife, sister-in-law, niece and her partner. We made good time, yet within 300 feet of the summit, completely spent and holding up the rest of the group, it was painfully obvious that I was not going to make the summit, at least not without jeopardizing the safety of the descent. Therefore, while the others proceeded to the summit, my sister-in-law chose to stay with me, sacrificially giving up her opportunity to summit, because on a mountain you don’t leave anyone alone. While we sat and rested, I felt fatigue, embarrassed and angry at myself, at my failure.

On the descent, I kept wondering why? Why could I not finish the climb? Why had my energy complete drained? I KNEW I was strong enough to make the climb. I knew I had the skill and energy…yet I didn’t!

The others all tried to reassure me: to point out that at 52 years of age, I shouldn’t expect to do what I did at 20, although they chose not to remind me that 2 years earlier my 80 year old father-in-law had made summit. It was nice thought, but they were beguiling: I KNEW I failed, I just couldn’t understand why!

DSCN2523 A couple of weeks later when I was putting my pack away for the season, I found the answer. Two weeks before the climb I had taken a couple of friends up to Stanley Glacier: a beautiful, but modest, hike about 1/4 the climb of Crowsnest. On the way down, I had packed out 3 “souvenir” rocks, (together weighing about 30 pounds) for our water pond at home. I found those rocks still in the bottom of my pack after the Crowsnest climb.

I was prepared for the climb…just not the added 30 pound burden. It was that unseen burden that stole my plans, vanquished my strength and defeated me. And worse, robbed another of the opportunity to fulfill their dream.

Failure is never planned for; it hides deep in our hopes and dreams, coiled like a cobra waiting for the right moment to spring forth and strike down our plans.

Success on my climb would have been assured had I not been carrying that burden. Failure is most often the result of some burden we’re carrying. We start out pursuing our dream with vigour and confidence and all that we need to succeed. Yet deep in our lives is an unseen burden, something from our past, that weighs us down; that we won’t let go. It can even be something good some past success, that we hold onto and measure ourselves against. This burden is almost imperceivable at first, but over time its weight drains our energy, our enthusiasm or confidence. And even though we push on, we determine not to give into the fatigue we fight failure with all we got, sooner or later we realize we have nothing left. We’re spent and failure won the day…all because of the burden we carry.

So how DO we climb mountains? How DO we fulfil our plans and dreams?

The unknown writer of an ancient book gave us the key when they wrote: “...throw off everything that hinders and so easily entangles…and run with perseverance the race marked out for [you]…”

We need plans, preparation and perseverance to fulfil our dreams, but all of that is for naught, if we don’t also purge ourselves of that which can bring defeat: Fear of past failures, Over-confidence fuelled by past successes, etc.

To be successful, plan for failure!

For success to happen we need to plan for failure.

By this I mean, before setting out on your dream, give honest consideration to those burdens you have that can trip you up or rob your strength.

Planning includes self-assessment and dealing with those burdens. It may be as simple as identifying a burden that can’t be dealt with right now. But by identifying it ahead of time, you adjust your preparations to include it. Had I known that I was carrying an extra 30 pounds I would have packed more food for energy; I would have prepared for the extra weight. It’s the unseen burden that kills. Self-assessment is a healthy practice that frees us to move forward.

Purge these burdens; Lay aside that which can hinder, distract or entangle you and then step out with perseverance toward your dream.

What holds you back from your dreams? What are you carrying that will drain your energy and focus? What dreams or plans do you want to pursue?

Dan Knight

Change The World by Changing Yourself

Author Archives: Dan

I’m Dying.

Terminal

Death Sentence

Quit for Success

Quitting

Success

Internal Conflict Corrodes

You are only accountable for yourself!

What price are you willing to pay for the success of your organization?

3 Ways the Trinity Exists in Nature

A triune existence

Experience does not define us

Home where I belong

Giving away FREE Money today.

What would you do with $100 FREE money?

What will you do to Change the World of those in need?

Relationship over Regulation:

Motive over Money:

Percentage over Price:

What will you do to Change the World of those in need?

I Lost My Best Friend Today

The Success of Failure: How NOT to climb a mountain